Friday, April 21, 2017

Berkely Campus On lockdown

AntiFa protests at Berkley University became violent as they clashed with Trump supporters. Trump supporter was arrested for looking mean at snowflake protester. Berkley protester found in tears after breaking fingernail on protest sign. Police spokesperson: "Protest ended after parents arrived and sent protesters to their rooms without supper—Tears ensued."

More protests are expected after a bottle and diaper change.

In other news: Classes closed and students sent to counseling after conservative speaker discusses the Constitution. Berkley suspends future speakers who might say something the students don't like. A female student: "These people should be hung for thinking a country should have borders."

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